Fun things Apple said
"You didn't specify this as the problem when you left it at the store." (a. But I did? b. What did I say then? c. Why'd you notice it if I said something else?)
"You didn't damage your laptop, we see the problem, and it's under warranty, but it's not a manufacturer's defect." (uhh, what's the definition of manufacturer's defect?)
"I'm sorry, I was on hold" (man, but I was on hold)
"Repairing your monitor costs $1256" (but the laptop only cost $1299)
They're repairing it, but after 2 marathon sessions with customer support. Good game, Apple, good game.