Growing up

Some parents add themselves to college packing list

Key Excerpts

[Two parents] said they would be talking to [their freshman daughter] often, at least once a day, but more likely two or three times daily.

[One parent] expected to be in almost daily contact with the student-affairs office as well - as she was for her first daughter - to work out the kinks.

Today's college students are e-mailing their papers home for their parents' inspection before turning them in. Their parents in turn are stepping in to solve roommate problems, helping students pick out courses and demanding improvements to their rooms.

[One student] said parents want to attend their children's adviser sessions.

[The director of counseling at Colby] said the urge is strong among baby boomer parents to smooth away the issues.

This seems like an interesting article - especially in light of the whole parents not letting their kids fail issue. Let them bump their heads - we never will feel real joy until we feel real pain. And what about when parent can't solve things for their kids anymore? How will the kid cope? I say really poorly.

Mark Stehlik delivered a great "last lecture" on failure and its importance in life. The abstract is

American society has become increasingly failure-averse. Nowadays, in order to feel good about oneself, one has to be successful, virtually at everything. I argue that our greatest successes often arrive on the heels of an epiphany-relaying defeat and that failure is both a barometer of our desire to take risks and a data point on the yardstick by which we can measure our success. Put another way, is success without risk of failure really success? And what does this mean in a university context where failure is not thought of as productive?

So parents: go away. No, seriously. We'll call home once a week, and we'll struggle through bad roommates, picking classes, finding food, buying clothes, editing our papers, and getting hung over. We have school help for that.

You want us to be happy? We'll never feel prouder at graduation than if it's something we managed on our own, when we've made it through the trials, the failures, the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a college experience. We'll forge true bonds with the friends that helped us through it. We'll know how to handle work, life, living with a partner better that way. We'll love you for giving us the space to run. We'll grow up to be stronger.